these things

i wish i could be in your world

a place to explore

you’re a shy one

a gentle kiss

and a scented dream

 

i wish i could be in your world tonight

in a 5 minute drive

a heart that rests on your smile

a slight chance and you just might

a gentle kiss

and a scented dream

 

i asked the passing breeze

if i could sleep here

a quiet word and a wondrous respite

a gentle kiss

and a scented night

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scented ascent

there’s a place not far from here

where the grass still grows and flowers blossom

in ecstasy they come and go

distance grows and time stands still

 

the light of the sun

the dark of her eyes

the silent scent that grows

one of us will go

the next move will show

the right time for her

in a field of notes

the sound of music

carries my love

into her ears

her heart

and her soul

where we meet

this morning

and this night

the light grows and subsides

the dark of her eyes shines brighter

 

On time

In our lives we function with the notion that time is a constant. Every passing minute can be measured in the same way, in the same unit and remains the same constant. Every one experiences the ephemeral nature of time in the same amount of experience. And as we have experienced the necessary amount of time, our time so to say is up!

Memory I imagine then is a function of time. As time passes by (Casablanca ref) so our memory grows – sometimes for some people with a constant relation and for others in other possible distinct patterns of memory formation based on what is ‘memorable’. However, the amount of memories in some relation and to some degree is necessarily related to the amount of time in constant units experienced by a human being.

How is it then that as we grow older and more time passes by our memory tends to – wait I think its important at this point to define memory in the way I am using it here. I suppose I would have to reach out to some kind of a formal definition for that, to ensure there is consistency and value in the ‘claims’ I will make. Regardless lets leave that for a later time and go ahead and suppose memory is defined as the remembrance of things past (Proust anyone) – that’s too vague though for our purpose here. So lets say…

Or isn’t experience a function of time too – is that a better route to take to explain whatever it is that I seem to be thinking of right now?

Okay before I lose my trail of thought lets jump to what I want to say quickly and then come back to building a case for it…doesn’t time in fact expand as it grows (or passes by). Do we experience time the same way when we are young as opposed to when more of it has passed by?

As a child I have few memories – that could be for many reasons of course. But time seemed to pass much quicker. Or maybe it is only in retrospect that I feel time passed quickly when in fact at the moment within it I felt that it was passing ‘normally’ or even too slow on some of those excruciatingly long and hot days in Karachi during the summer holidays when there was little to do but stare at the walls (in the absence of electricity and the internet).

Lets return to the theme of memory then – memory if it is indeed a function of time, most certainly tends to increase over time – I suppose until a certain point when senility sets in and we become vegetables. If we can only recall things in time (standard units of minutes and hours) through our memory, and if the number of things we can recall (within those units of time) and thus experience increases over time, would that imply that time in every human life in fact goes through a similar cycle as a human of starting small, expanding through adulthood ripe with experiences and memory and then decaying to a slow death? Diminishing marginal utility if you will? Well that of course assumes that there is a utility associated with time and that could be as erroneous as anything else I suppose.

If memory is a function of time and memory increases over time then does time expand over time? And if so then should we change how we measure time – given how we spend our time is related to the kind of human beings we are (engaging in selfish or altruistic behavior)? Should there be a higher weightage associated with every passing unit of time as we grow older and then should it diminish after a certain peak?

As I write this it occurs to me that in Islam in fact there is such a formula. God says that the worship of ones younger years is far more valuable than the worship of old age. That of course means that the ‘value of our time’ and thus possibly its passing relevance increases after an initial set off years – lets say after 12 years of age – and then time expands as they way  in which we spend it becomes more meaningful to ourselves, our families, friends and holds more implication for those around us in our communities. And then once we go through a certain prime – lets say till 55 or 52 years of age – time’s value begins to decline. Our ambitions surrender to inevitable age related fatigue, sickness or death and our ability to accomplish a variety of tasks and their complexity diminishes. Alternatively, once we are at that age (52 or whatever) we are already on a set path and we no longer have the ability to change it significantly.

Then is the value of how we spend our time (and its units of experience) highly related to the quality and quantity of mental and/or physical effort we are able to produce? I realise now that all I have done here is to state the obvious – none the less the writing of it is a process of self-realization that I would have found difficult to achieve via any amount of reading of others written letters.

 

 

missing pieces

I lost a friend today

i don’t know what to say

i’m not sure where he’s gone

or where they took him

if i’ll ever see him again

that kind smile

those emotive words

only silence greets each recollection

all memories are on mute

my conscience is in shock

all this time when it was hibernating

only to be woken when life disappeared

so close

he was here only now

but is gone

he will be back soon i hope

but i don’t know who he’ll be if they let him go

i don’t know who i’ll be if they don’t let him go

Activism or Clicktivism? Or both?

insightful…so important for people/organisations working on mobilisation

thinking, doing, changing

As a social change geek, I spend a lot of time wondering what approaches work best to making change actually happen, and what role NGOs can play. There’s so much money flowing through civil society organisations with admirable long term goals. But are such organisations really on the right path to achieve things like ending global poverty and inequality, or structuring human society so that it can exist sustainably on this planet? From where I’m sitting it doesn’t look like we’re winning.

I think most UK NGOs have the wrong understanding of, and approach to, people power. US Academic Hahrie Han thinks so too, and has some fascinating insights in her recent book ‘How Organisations Develop Activists‘. Together with  a few others, I’ve arranged for Hahrie to visit London this spring. Tickets are already available for the campaigner training and the free lecture we’re organising. Below I explain…

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last flowers

its so difficult to make peace

once you find something you need
something you searched for all this while

and now its taking you away from your self

slowly moving forward
we’ve already found the love we wanted
isn’t moving then a bad idea
forward or backward
stagnancy is ideal
or maybe just delusion
and then i saw you sitting in the corner
smiling and sipping your drink
your radiance filling the room
your bright eyes lighting my world
forgive me baby i dont know what to say
i’ve been living in a fool’s world

i miss you

every sunday morning

when i awake i lie in bed and dream of you to no end

the week rolls by but every sunday 

I remember the sound of rain and wind

standing at the door waiting for my phone to ring 

then opening the door and seeing your face light up 

letting you in, hugging you and kissing your skin 

the scent of your hair and the warmth of your skin 

I remember every moment with such delight and pray I loose myself in those memories every night

patience

fascinating debris 

round the clock 

in a fist of rage 

flying to the north

heart of hearts 

speak today

of those nights when we lay

imagining the world at our feet

the ambition

the emotion

the wide eyed intense devotion

the heart 

the mind

the physical presence

of the day

when you heard them

so close to you

so tired

so frail

so beautiful

so helpless

so strong

in depair

such silent repressed fear

outrage

sickening

of the deep sleep

that never returned you to the world

the dreaming life

(Someone think of saying something to say…”the purpose of life……is death!!!…”)

In life’s little joys 

We find inspiration

With patience we find perseverance 

blue lines

IMG_2988

Crooked edges

deep thoughts

melodic fever

ideology and belief

truth, life, distraction – pleasure with ease

passing moments, lines – blue lines

hills, mountains and plains

dissent, freedom, politics and love

cruel . cruel blue lines

 

sacrifice

misdirection – loyalty

betrayal – life

decisions, choices and responsibilities

judgement?

 

strangers going to sleep beside you

ready for love – compartmentalised love

the only kind that works!

 

In a strange land – passions…

relentless lust – remembrance of the one you love – cold comfort

intoxicated warmth – dreaming of her

the innocence and purity of first love

eager and anxious love – spiritual love

its cool shade harbouring a restless soul

my only truth –

 

 

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